Reasons Why People Choose To Attend Couples Counseling

By Pat Skeats

Many relationships become strained sometimes for different reasons. This could be because of financial troubles, lack of communication or illness in the family. When this happens, working through the problems in a positive way is important to preserve the relationship. Many people have found that couples counseling has been helpful in working through some of these difficulties.

This is also known as relationship therapy. It may be either short term, lasting between one to three sessions, or it may be long term, lasting for several months or even years. The length of time varies for each couple, depending on different factors such as how much progress is being made and whether they can afford to continue the sessions.

One solution that is used to repair the relationship is to try and change the perceptions and emotions of the individuals. This means getting them to look at or respond differently to situations and how they feel about them. Our perceptions and emotional responses in a relationship are often contained in what some psychologists call a love map. The emotions in a love map can be explored together and discussed openly with our partner. The core values in a love map can be understood and respected by our partner or we can change them when they are no longer appropriate.

Many psychologists believe that instead of learning how to argue better and analyze past mistakes, it is more productive for both people to recognize and admit that they are emotionally attached to their partner and dependent on them the same way that a child is dependent on a parent. The basis of this dependence is a need for nurturing protection from another person.

A licensed relationship therapist may rely on psychiatrists, social workers and pastoral counsellors for help in treating married people. The duty of a relationship therapist is to listen to and respect their clients. The therapist must understand them and seek to facilitate a better functioning relationship between the partners. They must provide confidential dialogue which is sensitive to the feelings of each person. They should enable each individual to be heard and speak about their feelings.

Rather than trying to make decisions for the couple, the relationship therapist should seek to empower them. They must feel confident enough to take control of their lives and make important decisions on their own. The end goal is simply to improve communication so that they learn how to do this.

Some methods of relationship therapy focus on the process of communication. The method most commonly used is called active listening, developed by Carl Rogers and Virginia Satir. This helps each partner to learn how to communicate in a way that creates a safe environment for each individual to express their feelings.

Before a relationship can be improved between two people so that they can understand each other, it is important to first acknowledge that each person is unique and has their own personality and set of values that influences them. People may adhere to their different value systems without examining them. The nature of a person may be shaped by social and religious groups, among other things, which is why this must be considered during the process of therapy.

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