For a relationship to remain healthy and last, it is important that there be good communication skills for couples that are used in order to strengthen it and allow it to blossom. Being able to communicate well takes more than just talk and listening. It also means each person needs to have a good attitude towards everything otherwise it can lead to hurt emotions and struggles between one another which can even lead to the end of the relationship.
One of the most common things in any relationship are complaints. Very often when a person gives their complaint it is not done with empathy. Usually it is given in a more judgmental style and for the person receiving the complaint it can easily put them in a defensive mode. Once a person is on the defense the communication is doomed to break down pretty quickly.
Prepare yourself before you address your concerns to your partner and politely ask them if the present would be a good time to discuss something that concerns you. If their answer is no, then try and find out when it would be more convenient for them. You need them to be able to devote all of their time to the discussion and not have them be distracted by something else.
When you have decided on a time to discuss matters the last thing you want to do is to bring a whole list of your complaints to the table. It is important to only focus on one current problem that concerns you. If you bring a long laundry list of issues you are doomed to having communication shut down immediately.
Focus on your feelings that directly relate to your concern or complaint. Allowing your partner to visualize how something they do makes you feel emotionally. One example would be if you are tired of them being late, the judgmental way of approaching it would be to say I feel it is very inconsiderate of you to not call when you are going to be late. However the more empathetic way would be to put it more like this When you are late and do not give me a call I feel worried and concerned about you.
Another thing to remember is that your goal is to be heard without making them feel like you are trying to make them fix the problem right then and there. Making them feel pressured is like you are demanding that they come up with an immediate solution. Allow them the chance to think about the things you have said. This will often get them to easily offer suggestions for solutions.
Listening is so important when it comes to communication. This means really listening and not taking any offense to what is being said. When people feel offended they shut down. If you are the person who is receiving a complaint understand that healthy communication is not about who is wrong and who is right, it is about really understanding how both parties really feel.
Good communication skills for couples helps them learn to be more willing to let each other speak as well as listen respectfully without interruption. Interruption is one thing no one likes when it is their turn to speak it makes them feel completely disrespected.
One of the most common things in any relationship are complaints. Very often when a person gives their complaint it is not done with empathy. Usually it is given in a more judgmental style and for the person receiving the complaint it can easily put them in a defensive mode. Once a person is on the defense the communication is doomed to break down pretty quickly.
Prepare yourself before you address your concerns to your partner and politely ask them if the present would be a good time to discuss something that concerns you. If their answer is no, then try and find out when it would be more convenient for them. You need them to be able to devote all of their time to the discussion and not have them be distracted by something else.
When you have decided on a time to discuss matters the last thing you want to do is to bring a whole list of your complaints to the table. It is important to only focus on one current problem that concerns you. If you bring a long laundry list of issues you are doomed to having communication shut down immediately.
Focus on your feelings that directly relate to your concern or complaint. Allowing your partner to visualize how something they do makes you feel emotionally. One example would be if you are tired of them being late, the judgmental way of approaching it would be to say I feel it is very inconsiderate of you to not call when you are going to be late. However the more empathetic way would be to put it more like this When you are late and do not give me a call I feel worried and concerned about you.
Another thing to remember is that your goal is to be heard without making them feel like you are trying to make them fix the problem right then and there. Making them feel pressured is like you are demanding that they come up with an immediate solution. Allow them the chance to think about the things you have said. This will often get them to easily offer suggestions for solutions.
Listening is so important when it comes to communication. This means really listening and not taking any offense to what is being said. When people feel offended they shut down. If you are the person who is receiving a complaint understand that healthy communication is not about who is wrong and who is right, it is about really understanding how both parties really feel.
Good communication skills for couples helps them learn to be more willing to let each other speak as well as listen respectfully without interruption. Interruption is one thing no one likes when it is their turn to speak it makes them feel completely disrespected.
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