Ever been stood in a bar, and seen a really hot girl...and you just thought 'I wanna meet her!!!'? I know I have.
All you wanted to do was just go up to her and say hi, and for everything to be alright. For her to respond well and for you to find out about her.
Sadly though, all you do was look over longingly, and wish you had the confidence to go up to her.
You stood there and thought about what you should say. Desperately trying to micromanage the conversation in your own head.
What would she do if I said this?
How will she respond? What do I then say?
And on and on.
By this point...chances are it's already too late for you. You're done. Why?
This is because what you say will come off as though you are delivering a script, because you have rehearsed it in your head so much. It won't seem natural.
One thing that women really hate is when guys are incongruent. These means that what comes out of their mouth is not aligned with their body language.
Ever seen a guy acting like he is Mr Confident? All loud and brash? Yet underneath you know he is just trying too hard, because his body language betrays him?
This kind of misaligned behaviour is what causes girls to label certain guys as creepy. It's where what the guy says is not in alignment with his body language.
So the best course of action is not to try and hide anything, or pretend to be something you're not, but just to be open and honest about what's going on with you in that moment.
So if you don't feel 100% confident - it's ok to admit that. As long as you're not doing it in a whiny, self pitying way - you take ownership of the fact you don't feel confident right now - it's ok. Girls actually like a bit of vulnerability. Vulnerability and weakness are not the same thing.
So don't be afraid to show her what you consider to be the sides of yourself that you think she won't want to see. You'll be surprised - women are sick of guys pretending to be all cool and perfect all the time.
This shows real strength. It shows a man who is not hiding anything or trying to be something he is not.
This is so different from the normal guys who approach her - either those super loud fratboy in the club types, or shy 'nice' guys who bore her silly.
So try it out!
All you wanted to do was just go up to her and say hi, and for everything to be alright. For her to respond well and for you to find out about her.
Sadly though, all you do was look over longingly, and wish you had the confidence to go up to her.
You stood there and thought about what you should say. Desperately trying to micromanage the conversation in your own head.
What would she do if I said this?
How will she respond? What do I then say?
And on and on.
By this point...chances are it's already too late for you. You're done. Why?
This is because what you say will come off as though you are delivering a script, because you have rehearsed it in your head so much. It won't seem natural.
One thing that women really hate is when guys are incongruent. These means that what comes out of their mouth is not aligned with their body language.
Ever seen a guy acting like he is Mr Confident? All loud and brash? Yet underneath you know he is just trying too hard, because his body language betrays him?
This kind of misaligned behaviour is what causes girls to label certain guys as creepy. It's where what the guy says is not in alignment with his body language.
So the best course of action is not to try and hide anything, or pretend to be something you're not, but just to be open and honest about what's going on with you in that moment.
So if you don't feel 100% confident - it's ok to admit that. As long as you're not doing it in a whiny, self pitying way - you take ownership of the fact you don't feel confident right now - it's ok. Girls actually like a bit of vulnerability. Vulnerability and weakness are not the same thing.
So don't be afraid to show her what you consider to be the sides of yourself that you think she won't want to see. You'll be surprised - women are sick of guys pretending to be all cool and perfect all the time.
This shows real strength. It shows a man who is not hiding anything or trying to be something he is not.
This is so different from the normal guys who approach her - either those super loud fratboy in the club types, or shy 'nice' guys who bore her silly.
So try it out!
About the Author:
Chadd Pfannenstein is a hard fought master of attraction who has spent the previous 10 years methodically testing every attraction system that has ever been created. He is now here to show you how to get laid simply by learning how to approach women in bars and clubs.
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