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The Sky-High Expectations Of Chinese Women

By Peter Stone


There are discussions on multiple web sites, in English web circles and Chinese web circles both, about how the expectations of Chinese women is absurdly high. This is a phenomenon that isn't often found among Western women, and is usually considered 'spoiled' in the western world. What is an inadequate trait in the Western world has been adopted and evolved by Chinese women to become a relatively common occurrence. There are varying stages of this phenomena but it is imperative that you be able to identify and handle it when dating Chinese women.

Exactly why are Chinese Women's Expectations So excessive?There are various arguments about why Chinese women usually have this sense of entitlement and there are two that really stick out to me.

The first reason is the environment Chinese women grew up in raised their expectations. Nowadays, most Chinese women grew up in a single-child household under Mao's One-Child Policy. They had two parents giving them their undivided attention, and indeed received all of the attention they wanted from birth until their early adulthood.

Second is a post-Mao era "vacuum" around the role of girls in a modern world. Women were left with considerably more power than they previously had but didn't exactly know what to do with it.

That is where we get many strong and independent Chinese girls that emulate Western women. The problem, however, is that their role is still very ambiguous, and more and more Chinese girls wish to emulate the 'kawaii' Japanese high school girl, or the typical poor-but-adorable girls of K-drama. Either way, the end result is pretty similar, Chinese women expect the world of their significant other.

Sajiao is an interesting concept in Chinese that roughly means having a tantrum. Sajiao is when a girl (or a boy) throws a tantrum and whines and complains to obtain what she wants. It is almost always a playful act, but can also reflect someone who is legitimately spoiled. If you date Chinese women, you will discover a sajiao fit at least once.

How do you go about appealing to a Chinese woman's expectations?Together with knowing that a lot is going to be expected of you, you have to throw out your own sense of entitlement. Chinese women are usually very polite and courteous, but don't expect a great deal of thank-you's or gestures in return for the things you do. Even something like helping her move apartments, which is quite an ordeal, may not get you a considerable amount of appreciation.

Chinese women just won't necessarily verbally recognize the things you do for her, she takes them as a given. Just remain respectful, because while she may not outwardly express her appreciation, she definitely tallies up everything you do on her behalf.




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