The initial rush of romance can be wonderful. Couples find themselves falling in love and wanting to be together. However even the most committed pairing can become frustrated with each other over a long term period. At this point this is when it helps to learn effective communication skills for couples.
As with any skill it is wrong to assume that anyone can instantly learn them. Some people may very good at listening but may find it harder to verbalize their own opinions. Equally some people may be very vocal and self confident but may lack empathy and be less able to realize when their behavior is destructive.
The problem comes when two people have different styles of communication. For example what one half of the couple thinks is fun and playful banter the other person sees as harmful name calling. The danger is that this is never expressed so the other one is not aware that their behavior is destructive.
Where this becomes a problem is when one person from a verbose family that encourages debate meets someone who is not used to this. It can mean that what one person sees as amusing and playful banter may be perceived as name calling and mockery. If this is not addressed early on then resentments may accidentally develop.
This does not mean you have to put up with abuse. In extreme circumstances it is best to leave. Nobody should use violence or emotional blackmail to keep you in a relationship and it is important to be aware of this and distance yourself from anyone who becomes abusive.
Another thing to remember is that stress and emotional situations are best avoided when you want to have a discussion. If you feel a conversation become heated walk away and get some distance between you and your partner. This break can then make it easier to think a bit more rationally and discuss the situation.
It is also important to remember that people are not born with perfect communication skills. Even people who think they are good listeners can become disillusioned if they are constantly expected to listen to problems without being able to unload themselves. The problem is that the people doing the unloading may not always realize this.
There are a number of experts and courses that can help you learn effective communication skills for couples. However while they can help guide you ultimately it requires effort from both halves of the partnership. With commitment you can improve and make it easier to develop your ability to communicate with each other.
As with any skill it is wrong to assume that anyone can instantly learn them. Some people may very good at listening but may find it harder to verbalize their own opinions. Equally some people may be very vocal and self confident but may lack empathy and be less able to realize when their behavior is destructive.
The problem comes when two people have different styles of communication. For example what one half of the couple thinks is fun and playful banter the other person sees as harmful name calling. The danger is that this is never expressed so the other one is not aware that their behavior is destructive.
Where this becomes a problem is when one person from a verbose family that encourages debate meets someone who is not used to this. It can mean that what one person sees as amusing and playful banter may be perceived as name calling and mockery. If this is not addressed early on then resentments may accidentally develop.
This does not mean you have to put up with abuse. In extreme circumstances it is best to leave. Nobody should use violence or emotional blackmail to keep you in a relationship and it is important to be aware of this and distance yourself from anyone who becomes abusive.
Another thing to remember is that stress and emotional situations are best avoided when you want to have a discussion. If you feel a conversation become heated walk away and get some distance between you and your partner. This break can then make it easier to think a bit more rationally and discuss the situation.
It is also important to remember that people are not born with perfect communication skills. Even people who think they are good listeners can become disillusioned if they are constantly expected to listen to problems without being able to unload themselves. The problem is that the people doing the unloading may not always realize this.
There are a number of experts and courses that can help you learn effective communication skills for couples. However while they can help guide you ultimately it requires effort from both halves of the partnership. With commitment you can improve and make it easier to develop your ability to communicate with each other.
About the Author:
If you would like to learn about effective communication skills for couples, check out this link to www.howelldynamics.net. To purchase Howell Dynamic's New Book on Couples Anger Management, visit us online at http://www.howelldynamics.net now.
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