Most average looking guys have great difficulty meeting women because they feel self-conscious and build up a lot of anxiety when they have to go over and speak to them. Attractiveness is a self-fulfilling prophecy, if you don't expect women to like you, chances are they won't!
Getting your head in the game is step one. Small talk is one way to start up a conversation with a lady you have your eye on, but don't blow it by trying to initiate a conversation by talking about stupid things like spots or the weather! Star small, ask her name, give her a compliment or ask if she has ever been here before. These are easy topics which you can expand on. Don't ask dead end questions like if she has a boyfriend or if she is here alone. She can (and probably will) shut you down before you can expel your next breath. But that's okay too. You are here to learn and it's good practice, so go out there and just try. It's the best way to get over any anxiety you may have when talking to the opposite sex.
Why do you automatically presume that she is better than you, or even a nice person at all? Go over there and just be curious to find out more about the person you have in front of you. Don't base your self-esteem on the reaction women have to you in clubs, they don't know you at all! When an interaction happens, it could be that you will not get the response you were hoping for, but maybe you have learned something new about yourself, about women or about male-female interaction on the whole.
The truth is that if you totally shift your focus about what you are after, your anxiety will be greatly lessened and chances are you really will make a good impression. Women sense anxiety a mile off but if you come across as being simply relaxed and curious, they will be a lot more open to speaking to you.
Females are emotional beings and not very analytical so trying to have a technical conversation with her is going to earn you long blank stares. The aim is to connect emotionally with her. Yes I know, men and emotion are naturally compatible, especially in a social environment, but if you are attempting to connect with her at all, then this is the path you must choose. Sounds very "Star Wars", but go with what works when it comes to women and trying to get to know them. The aim here is to score her digits, not her scorn.
Having gotten her phone number is only the first step in the long run. Learning when to use her number and how, is the next step. Texting her from time to time is alright, but texting her daily several times a day may come across as stalker behavior...and she may slap you with a restraining order. So, learn more about her first by dating her a couple times and asking in depth questions about her to learn more about her. This way when you get the next level, texting her "naughty" texts won't backfire on you. I may land you in her bed.
Another thing that women shy away from is neediness. If you appear needy you will be the opposite of the alpha male she is looking for. You are "allowed" to show vulnerability but she wants to see that you already have established control over your weaker areas. What women don't want is a puppy dog. Puppy dogs end up in the friend zone as they are incredibly sweet but just don't get your heart racing!
The last thing you want to do is flood her phone with texts every few minutes with inane stuff. It's going to piss her off. At the same time, don't answer every single one of her texts either. It gives the impression of being easily controlled. That's not a good place to be in as a man, and women see that as being weak. She doesn't want a puppet who is going to dance to her tune with every pull on the string, she wants someone she can respect. Be available; just don't be TOO available, if that makes any sense.
Last but not least, do not send "funny" messages that aren't really funny. Something that tries to be funny but isn't ends up being pathetic, a judgment you do not want to be in any way involved with!
So be kind and have a sense of self-worth, follow our interaction and texting guidelines and you will soon have your phone ringing and women asking you out!
Getting your head in the game is step one. Small talk is one way to start up a conversation with a lady you have your eye on, but don't blow it by trying to initiate a conversation by talking about stupid things like spots or the weather! Star small, ask her name, give her a compliment or ask if she has ever been here before. These are easy topics which you can expand on. Don't ask dead end questions like if she has a boyfriend or if she is here alone. She can (and probably will) shut you down before you can expel your next breath. But that's okay too. You are here to learn and it's good practice, so go out there and just try. It's the best way to get over any anxiety you may have when talking to the opposite sex.
Why do you automatically presume that she is better than you, or even a nice person at all? Go over there and just be curious to find out more about the person you have in front of you. Don't base your self-esteem on the reaction women have to you in clubs, they don't know you at all! When an interaction happens, it could be that you will not get the response you were hoping for, but maybe you have learned something new about yourself, about women or about male-female interaction on the whole.
The truth is that if you totally shift your focus about what you are after, your anxiety will be greatly lessened and chances are you really will make a good impression. Women sense anxiety a mile off but if you come across as being simply relaxed and curious, they will be a lot more open to speaking to you.
Females are emotional beings and not very analytical so trying to have a technical conversation with her is going to earn you long blank stares. The aim is to connect emotionally with her. Yes I know, men and emotion are naturally compatible, especially in a social environment, but if you are attempting to connect with her at all, then this is the path you must choose. Sounds very "Star Wars", but go with what works when it comes to women and trying to get to know them. The aim here is to score her digits, not her scorn.
Having gotten her phone number is only the first step in the long run. Learning when to use her number and how, is the next step. Texting her from time to time is alright, but texting her daily several times a day may come across as stalker behavior...and she may slap you with a restraining order. So, learn more about her first by dating her a couple times and asking in depth questions about her to learn more about her. This way when you get the next level, texting her "naughty" texts won't backfire on you. I may land you in her bed.
Another thing that women shy away from is neediness. If you appear needy you will be the opposite of the alpha male she is looking for. You are "allowed" to show vulnerability but she wants to see that you already have established control over your weaker areas. What women don't want is a puppy dog. Puppy dogs end up in the friend zone as they are incredibly sweet but just don't get your heart racing!
The last thing you want to do is flood her phone with texts every few minutes with inane stuff. It's going to piss her off. At the same time, don't answer every single one of her texts either. It gives the impression of being easily controlled. That's not a good place to be in as a man, and women see that as being weak. She doesn't want a puppet who is going to dance to her tune with every pull on the string, she wants someone she can respect. Be available; just don't be TOO available, if that makes any sense.
Last but not least, do not send "funny" messages that aren't really funny. Something that tries to be funny but isn't ends up being pathetic, a judgment you do not want to be in any way involved with!
So be kind and have a sense of self-worth, follow our interaction and texting guidelines and you will soon have your phone ringing and women asking you out!
About the Author:
Our company is an absolutely 3rd party and independent evaluation site that has actually looked at the pros and cons of messaging intended for dating. For our assessment on the Magnetic Messaging book concerned our site; Magnetic Messaging Reviewer
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