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Processing The Pain Of Your Breakup Before You Get Him Back

By Donna Carr


For most of us guys, common sense goes right out the window after a breakup. We will try anything and everything to show the woman we love how important she is to us but what do you do when it seems like she doesn't care at all? While you might love your ex girlfriend or your wife with all your heart, it seems nothing is going to sway her decision and bring her back to you. You wind up feeling like you're doing everything wrong. You're anxious and scared to death that this truly is the end of your relationship unless you can figure her out and convince her that your relationship is worth saving.

First, you're never going to be able to convince your ex girlfriend or your wife to come back to you. Breaking up with you was her decision and she is going to have to think that getting back together is her decision also. Respect her decision to leave you.

There are many ways of dealing with your emotions after a breakup. Each of us is a little different and you might find that one of these methods works better for you than all the others. Try them all and see what suits you. Understanding that this is a step towards getting back together with the man that you love should be your underlying thought, though. Making an effort to face the pain and these unpleasant emotions every day will become easier and easier as time goes by.

First, your intincts might tell you that the best way to end the pain from your breakup is to get your ex back. While this is very true, you can't count on him arriving at your door tonight with tears in his eyes while he begs for forgiveness. If it happens and he shows up at your doorstep then you can deal with that when the time comes. Remember that processing these negative emotions as quickly as possible is your goal.

If she needs your help or wants to enjoy your company, she will call you. In a healthy relationship there is equal give and take. Gifts given now will only make her angry thinking about how you didn't give her gifts when you were together. Thoughtful phone calls to check on her will remind her of the times that you neglected her. Telling her that you love her will be too little too late and having to hear that awkward silence isn't going to help your male ego at all.

Fear will cause you to do anything right about now, even if it's wrong. You should be kicking back right now coming up with a real plan to get your girlfriend back if you're serious.

Next, remember that actions mean everything and words mean almost nothing to a woman. You can talk all day long about what you're going to do with your life. She will be filled with doubt and be telling herself that it will never happen. On the other hand, improving yourself in various areas of your life such as your physique, eating habits, appearance, social status or career without talking about it, speaks volumes. Do something great with your life that you always dreamed of and then let her find out about it. Actions speak louder than words to a woman.

Remember that your ex girlfriend or your wife was your best friend at one point in your life. They were and are someone special that you picked out of all the women in the world. Treat her with respect but be willing to fight for your relationship. You wouldn't turn your back on a best friend. Don't give up on your girlfriend or your wife. Women value loyalty. It might require that you be a little devious or clever in your tactics but if she was in love with you before it is absolutely possible for her to fall in love with you again. The decision is yours to make but if your wife or your girlfriend was your best friend in the world, don't you think that a little patience and understanding what she needs to feel to fall in love again is in order?




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