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Processing The Pain Of Your Breakup Before You Get Him Back

By Faye Conner


Being patient when trying to get back together with your girlfriend is difficult. There's no question about it. You worry that someone else is going to come along and scoop her up, if that isn't the case already. You worry that she's going to forget about you. You worry that she's going to get used to living her life without you. But even more, you just worry that the window of opportunity is closing so you're frantic to find a solution to your problem and get her back as soon as possible.

First, you're never going to be able to convince your ex girlfriend or your wife to come back to you. Breaking up with you was her decision and she is going to have to think that getting back together is her decision also. Respect her decision to leave you.

For instance, you have probably thought long and hard about this. You want to make things right again between you and your girlfriend so you do what comes naturally. That means that you try apologizing at first. You may even mean it. You promise to change. You promise to never do whatever it was that you think caused your breakup or you promise to always do whatever it was that you didn't do that caused your breakup.

First, your intincts might tell you that the best way to end the pain from your breakup is to get your ex back. While this is very true, you can't count on him arriving at your door tonight with tears in his eyes while he begs for forgiveness. If it happens and he shows up at your doorstep then you can deal with that when the time comes. Remember that processing these negative emotions as quickly as possible is your goal.

In case you didn't know already, all of these methods will fail you. No matter how much your frantic mind might want to convince you that these are the right things to do, it's lying to you. Your mind will try to tell you all sorts of things to get you to just act and do the wrong things. It is filled with fear right now.

On the other hand, be on the lookout for requests for help when she does begin to feel something for you again. Often a woman won't come right out and say that she misses you or that she is thinking about you after a breakup. She might find a lame excuse to call you for advice or ask for your help with something. Don't allow yourself to be used, of course, but look for these openings as a sign that she is beginning to miss you.

A real plan to get your girlfriend back should be based upon female psychology and what a woman needs to feel in order to overcome the biggest hurdle that confronts you right now which is the fact that she broke up with you. She has told all of her friends and family that she is done with you. That is going to be a big obstacle to overcome so you're going to have to speak to her emotions. Her decision is going to have to be an emotional one. She is going to have to want you more than she might be embarassed to tell everyone that she is getting back together with you.

Remember that your ex girlfriend or your wife was your best friend at one point in your life. They were and are someone special that you picked out of all the women in the world. Treat her with respect but be willing to fight for your relationship. You wouldn't turn your back on a best friend. Don't give up on your girlfriend or your wife. Women value loyalty. It might require that you be a little devious or clever in your tactics but if she was in love with you before it is absolutely possible for her to fall in love with you again. The decision is yours to make but if your wife or your girlfriend was your best friend in the world, don't you think that a little patience and understanding what she needs to feel to fall in love again is in order?




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