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Getting Your Spouse To Agree To Marriage Counseling

By Marissa Velazquez


Nobody really wants to acknowledge the fact that their relationship is in need of help, but nowadays it is the case that a lot of people are facing problems within their marriages. There are many reasons for this, including the financial pressures that many are now under, and the general stress of modern life. Regardless of the reasons for the relationship's breakdown, the persons involved should try to view marriage counseling as a positive addition to their lives.

If you are the one who needs to initiate the process of acquiring assistance, then you need to do it the right way so that your partner will be open to the idea as well. The idea should be suggested in an appropriate manner so that it is not misunderstood. Firstly, you will need to choose a good time to discuss the matter.

Make sure that you bring up the topic when you are both feeling relaxed, and when there is no one else around. It is a private matter between the two of you and it should not be discussed with anyone else. Try to talk when you know that your partner is not overly stressed from work or other matters, so that it can be a conversation rather than an argument. Talk about it in a positive way, and in a way that your partner won't feel as if he or she is going to be negatively viewed.

A counselor will see either a couple or just one person, therefore, if your spouse refuses to go then you can still attend the sessions. However, it will be best if you are both present. If you are forced to go on your own, stay committed, and see if you can learn some ways of helping the relationship. Your partner may change his mind in time.

If your partner has agreed to work with you, then you are off to a good start. When both of you agree on the path to take in order to improve your relationship, then you can start to consider the outcome that you desire. Before you even start the sessions with the counselor, you can make a list of goals. Note why you are attending and what you hope to achieve. The list can be made with your spouse or on your own, but should be shared.

Try to write down the major factors that have a negative impact on your relationship. This will help you to understand the sort of problems that need to be solved. However, you should not only focus on the negative aspects, but on the positive things as well.

Although you are noting the negative aspects, start to work on the positive side of things as well. Write down everything you like about your partner and the relationship, and try to develop a more positive attitude. Both partners should make their own lists, and they can be shared.

Marriage counseling is recommended for those having difficulties, but can also be useful for newly weds. Communication problems are often handled, but also more serious issues such as the death of a child and substance abuse. Look for a counselor that you can trust, and one that has experience.




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