In a moment of inspiration, have you thought of a great idea for getting back together with your ex? You have thought long and hard and you know exactly what you need to do to win your ex back. It all makes sense to you. You have the perfect plan and you can see it all unfolding before you. Before you follow through with this plan, understand that most of us come to the same conclusion and think of the same solutions for how to get back together with our ex after a breakup. Chances are that you're not as clever and unique as you might think.
Try not to get depressed if any of these plans are on your list of crafty tricks to get your ex back. Well come to the same conclusions when faced with trying to repair a broken relationship. It's better that you know what tactics will fail before you try them. While it might be normal to think that we know what we should do to fix things, understanding that you are going through an emotional stage is necessary. Understanding that what you are feeling is normal will help you to grow. All of this is an attempt to help you to get past this emotional point in your breakup and bring you to the stage where you will have an actual opportunity to make things right with your ex. See if any of these plans are something that you have thought of or actually tried in an attempt to get your ex back.
Now, logic might tell you that the best way to convince someone that your point of view is correct would be to discuss the topic. This might lead you to believe that talking with your ex would be the perfect way to win them back. Simply give them a convincing argument for why you should get back together and they will surely see your sincerity and that life would be better if the two of you reunited. This is also what couples therapy is all about. If it's good enough for other couples then why wouldn't it work for you? Conflict resolution is the topic and you are prepared to resolve the problems in your relationship. This should help you to get back together for sure.
This plan may not work out the way that you envision though. While your ex might agree to meet with you and talk with you, your motives are different. Your ex might agree to talk with you but only to give you closure or to further explain why they are done with the relationship. You, on the other hand, want to get back together. Until your ex has a desire to be with you, all the talking in the world is only wasted breath. Communication is important in a relationship but your ex has ended the relationship, at least the romantic portion of the relationship. Don't mistake your ex being kind or tolerating you in their life is an opportunity. You very well may find that they lose their patience and completely stop communicating with you.
Making changes in your life or promising to change the things that your ex complained about when they left you is another common solution that we all come up with. We feel that if our ex has given us reasons why they are leaving then we must simply change what they complained about and they will be happy with us again. We could all use some change in our life and we can see the logic behind why our ex left so we decide to take our ex's words to heart.
Again, while our ex might be proud of us for making some positive changes in our life, these changes aren't going to bring our ex back. Your ex lacks the emotional desire to be with us. As a matter of fact, if your ex did want to be with you they would come back even if you didn't make any changes in your life. There are many couples that get back together in spite of terrible circumstances and problems. It is passion, desire and attraction that brings them back together and not changes that one partner made in their life. Changing or promising to change will not bring about that passion and desire, sad to say.
Certainly, if you were the perfect partner and you were to be thoughtful and kind to your ex then they would see that you really loved them. The idea of buying your ex gifts or writing thoughtful emails, letters, cards or poetry is another great idea. You might even think that by performing some wonderfully romantic gesture such as sending your ex flowers or publicly displaying your love for your ex will get their attention. You might believe that your ex does still love you and they simply need to have their heart strings plucked in order to be reminded. This scenario is often played out in romantic movies so this surely must be the way back into your ex's heart.
Trying too hard and trying to be perfect is again perceived as being desperate and needy. Your ex loved you at one time because of who you were. They accepted you with all your imperfections and flaws. You don't have to be perfect for someone to love you. You simply have to be yourself. Save the grand displays of affection and devotion for the day when you know for sure that you have your ex back in your life. Save your money and avoid the heartache by holding onto those feelings and those clever ideas. There will be a day when your ex will appreciate your thoughtfulness and they will consider themselves lucky to have someone love them so much. Until your ex feels that love for you again, any attempt to force your love on them is going to be taken as an attempt to manipulate them.
The true key to your success in getting your ex back is to have them fall in love with you again. You ex needs to miss having you in their life. They need to remember what it was like to be in love with the person they first met. Your ex needs to fall in love with you all over again. That love needs be born anew. No amount of talking, gift giving or change on your part is going to make your ex fall in love with you again. It will happen all on its own. That love is still there. It is simply buried under a lot of resentment, frustration and fear.
Only understanding and time will allow your ex to realize that they still love you. You are actually better off doing absolutely nothing than pursuing your ex at this point. Emotions and love are very fickle and they can change very quickly. Your ex might say that they don't love you anymore or they could even deny that they ever loved you but tomorrow they very well might feel differently. This is human nature and even the most logical person is subject to this emotional swing when it comes to love. Be patient and wait for your opportunity to arrive. Have your life in order and be strong as you wait for things to change before you consider doing anything to try to get your ex back.
Try not to get depressed if any of these plans are on your list of crafty tricks to get your ex back. Well come to the same conclusions when faced with trying to repair a broken relationship. It's better that you know what tactics will fail before you try them. While it might be normal to think that we know what we should do to fix things, understanding that you are going through an emotional stage is necessary. Understanding that what you are feeling is normal will help you to grow. All of this is an attempt to help you to get past this emotional point in your breakup and bring you to the stage where you will have an actual opportunity to make things right with your ex. See if any of these plans are something that you have thought of or actually tried in an attempt to get your ex back.
Now, logic might tell you that the best way to convince someone that your point of view is correct would be to discuss the topic. This might lead you to believe that talking with your ex would be the perfect way to win them back. Simply give them a convincing argument for why you should get back together and they will surely see your sincerity and that life would be better if the two of you reunited. This is also what couples therapy is all about. If it's good enough for other couples then why wouldn't it work for you? Conflict resolution is the topic and you are prepared to resolve the problems in your relationship. This should help you to get back together for sure.
This plan may not work out the way that you envision though. While your ex might agree to meet with you and talk with you, your motives are different. Your ex might agree to talk with you but only to give you closure or to further explain why they are done with the relationship. You, on the other hand, want to get back together. Until your ex has a desire to be with you, all the talking in the world is only wasted breath. Communication is important in a relationship but your ex has ended the relationship, at least the romantic portion of the relationship. Don't mistake your ex being kind or tolerating you in their life is an opportunity. You very well may find that they lose their patience and completely stop communicating with you.
Making changes in your life or promising to change the things that your ex complained about when they left you is another common solution that we all come up with. We feel that if our ex has given us reasons why they are leaving then we must simply change what they complained about and they will be happy with us again. We could all use some change in our life and we can see the logic behind why our ex left so we decide to take our ex's words to heart.
Again, while our ex might be proud of us for making some positive changes in our life, these changes aren't going to bring our ex back. Your ex lacks the emotional desire to be with us. As a matter of fact, if your ex did want to be with you they would come back even if you didn't make any changes in your life. There are many couples that get back together in spite of terrible circumstances and problems. It is passion, desire and attraction that brings them back together and not changes that one partner made in their life. Changing or promising to change will not bring about that passion and desire, sad to say.
Certainly, if you were the perfect partner and you were to be thoughtful and kind to your ex then they would see that you really loved them. The idea of buying your ex gifts or writing thoughtful emails, letters, cards or poetry is another great idea. You might even think that by performing some wonderfully romantic gesture such as sending your ex flowers or publicly displaying your love for your ex will get their attention. You might believe that your ex does still love you and they simply need to have their heart strings plucked in order to be reminded. This scenario is often played out in romantic movies so this surely must be the way back into your ex's heart.
Trying too hard and trying to be perfect is again perceived as being desperate and needy. Your ex loved you at one time because of who you were. They accepted you with all your imperfections and flaws. You don't have to be perfect for someone to love you. You simply have to be yourself. Save the grand displays of affection and devotion for the day when you know for sure that you have your ex back in your life. Save your money and avoid the heartache by holding onto those feelings and those clever ideas. There will be a day when your ex will appreciate your thoughtfulness and they will consider themselves lucky to have someone love them so much. Until your ex feels that love for you again, any attempt to force your love on them is going to be taken as an attempt to manipulate them.
The true key to your success in getting your ex back is to have them fall in love with you again. You ex needs to miss having you in their life. They need to remember what it was like to be in love with the person they first met. Your ex needs to fall in love with you all over again. That love needs be born anew. No amount of talking, gift giving or change on your part is going to make your ex fall in love with you again. It will happen all on its own. That love is still there. It is simply buried under a lot of resentment, frustration and fear.
Only understanding and time will allow your ex to realize that they still love you. You are actually better off doing absolutely nothing than pursuing your ex at this point. Emotions and love are very fickle and they can change very quickly. Your ex might say that they don't love you anymore or they could even deny that they ever loved you but tomorrow they very well might feel differently. This is human nature and even the most logical person is subject to this emotional swing when it comes to love. Be patient and wait for your opportunity to arrive. Have your life in order and be strong as you wait for things to change before you consider doing anything to try to get your ex back.
About the Author:
Visit http://text-your-ex-back.highclassproducts.org/ to learn more about methods proven to help you to win your love back. Learn why your ex left and what you can do to bring them back.
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